Full Metal Jacket
by Stanley Kubrick, Michael Herr and Gustav Hasford
FADE IN:
WARNER BROS. LOGO:
WARNER BROS. PICTURES
WB
A WARNER COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY
LOGO FADES OUT:
Music: Johnny Wright's "Hello Vietnam"
TITLE: A STANLEY KUBRICK FILM
CUT TO:
TITLE: FULL METAL JACKET
CUT TO:
1 INT. BARBERSHOP--PARRIS ISLAND MARINE BASE -- DAY
Marine recruits having their heads shaved with
electric clippers. The hair piles up on the floor.
2 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their bunks.
Master Gunnery Sergeant HARTMAN walks along the
line of blank-faced recruits.
HARTMAN
I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior
Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!"
Do you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive
recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you
will be a minister of death, praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the
lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even
human fucking beings! You are nothing but
unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit!
Because I am hard, you will not like me. But
the more you hate me, the more you will
learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no
racial bigotry here! I do not look down on
niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you
are all equally worthless! And my orders are
to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack
the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do
you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a black recruit,
Private SNOWBALL.
HARTMAN
What's your name, scumbag?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, Private Brown, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! From now on you're Private
Snowball! Do you like that name?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, there's one thing that you won't like,
Private Snowball! They don't serve fried
chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in
my mess hall!
SNOWBALL
Sir, yes, sir!
JOKER
(whispering)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
HARTMAN
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's
the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed
cocksucker down here, who just signed his
own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy
fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-
standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking
die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are
sucking buttermilk.
Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt.
HARTMAN
Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking
worm! I'll bet it was you!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
JOKER
Sir, I said it, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.
HARTMAN
Well ... no shit. What have we got here, a
fucking comedian? Private Joker? I admire
your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come
over to my house and fuck my sister.
Sergeant HARTMAN punches JOKER in the stomach.
JOKER sags to his knees.
HARTMAN
You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've
got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not
cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will
teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You
had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew
your head and shit down your neck!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?
JOKER
Sir, to kill, sir!
HARTMAN
So you're a killer!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!
JOKER
Sir?
HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a
war face. Now let me see your war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see
your real war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face.
HARTMAN
What's your excuse?
COWBOY
Sir, excuse for what, sir?
HARTMAN
I'm asking the fucking questions here,
Private. Do you understand?!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge
for a while?
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir, I am, sir!
HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir!
HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to call me an
asshole?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit
that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on
me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN
Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran down the crack of your mama's ass
and ended up as a brown stain on the
mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck
a person in the ass and not even have the
goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-
around! I'll be watching you!
Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another
recruit, a tall, overweight boy.
HARTMAN
Did your parents have any children that lived?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you
could be a modern art masterpiece! What's
your name, fatbody?
PYLE
Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
HARTMAN
Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
That name sounds like royalty! Are you
royalty?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Do you suck dicks?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose!
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots
and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on
you're Gomer Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
PYLE has the trace of a strange smile on his face.
HARTMAN
Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you
think I'm funny?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!
PYLE
Sir, I'm trying, sir.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three
seconds--exactly three fucking seconds--to
wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or
I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck
you! One! Two! Three!
PYLE purses his lips but continues to smile
involuntarily.
PYLE
Sir, I can't help it, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag!
PYLE gets down on his knees.
HARTMAN
Now choke yourself!
PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to
choke himself.
HARTMAN
Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!!
PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks
it away.
HARTMAN
Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said
choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke
yourself!
PYLE leans forward so that his neck rests in
HARTMAN's open hand.
HARTMAN chokes PYLE.
PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.
HARTMAN
Are you through grinning?
PYLE
(barely able to speak)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you!
PYLE
(gasping)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound off like
you got a pair!
PYLE
(gagging)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
That's enough! Get on your feet!
HARTMAN releases PYLE's throat. PYLE gets to his feet,
breathing heavily.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you had best square your ass
away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links
... or I will definitely fuck you up!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
3 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND--DAY
The training platoon is double-timing in formation.
HARTMAN is calling cadence.
HARTMAN
. . right, left, right, left! Left, right, left,
right, left! Left, right, left, right, left!
JOKER
(narration)
Parris Island, South Carolina.... the United
States Marine Corps Recruit Depot. An eight-
week college for the phony-tough and the
crazy-brave.
HARTMAN
Mama and Papa were laying in bed.
RECRUITS
(chanting in. cadence)
Mama and Papa were laying in bed.
HARTMAN
Mama rolled over, this is what she said...
RECRUITS
Mama rolled over, this is what she said...
HARTMAN
Ah, gimme some...
RECRUITS
Ah, gimme some...
HARTMAN
Ah, gimme some...
RECRUITS
Ah, gimme some...
HARTMAN
P.T....
RECRUITS
P.T....
HARTMAN
P.T....
RECRUITS
P.T....
HARTMAN
Good for you!
RECRUITS
Good for you!
HARTMAN
And good for me!
RECRUITS
And good for me!
HARTMAN
Mmm, good.
RECRUITS
Mmm, good.
HARTMAN
Up in the morning to the rising sun.
RECRUITS
Up in the morning to the rising sun.
HARTMAN
Gotta run all day...
4 EXT. PRACTICE FIELD--SUNSET
Recruits, silhouetted against the sun, climbing
ropes, nets and ladders.
HARTMAN
...till the running's done!
RECRUITS
Gotta run all day till the running's done!
HARTMAN
Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch!
RECRUITS
Ho Chi Minh is a son-of-a-bitch!
HARTMAN
Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-
itch!
RECRUITS
Got the blueballs, crabs and the seven-year-
itch!
DISSOLVE TO:
5 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marches the platoon across a wide
expanse of asphalt. The recruits carry rifles.
HARTMAN
Left, right, left, right, left! To your left
shoulder . . . hut! Left, right, left! Port . . .
hut!
HARTMAN
Left, right! Platoon ... halt! Left shoulder ...
hut!
PYLE momentarily places his rifle on the wrong
shoulder and immediately corrects himself:
HARTMAN spots this and walks up to him.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my
beloved Corps?
PYLE
Sir, I don't know, sir!
HARTMAN
You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you
expect me to believe that you don't know left
from right?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Then you did that on purpose! You want to
be different!
PYLE
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN slaps PYLE hard across the left cheek.
HARTMAN
What side was that, Private Pyle?!
PYLE
Sir, left side, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you sure, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN Slaps PYLE hard across the right cheek,
Knocking his cap off:
HARTMAN
What side was that, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, right side, sir.
HARTMAN
Don't fuck with me again, Pyle! Pick up
your fucking cover!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
DISSOLVE TO:
6 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marching the platoon. - bringing up the
rear is PYLE, his fatigue pants down around his
ankles; he is sucking his thumb and he carries his
rifle muzzle down.
7 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
HARTMAN walks along the line of recruits in skivvies
holding their rifles and standing at attention in.
front of their bunks.
HARTMAN
Tonight ... you pukes will sleep with your
rifles! You will give your rifle a girl's name!
Because this is the only pussy you people are
going to get! Your days of finger-banging old
Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty
pink panties are over! You're married to this
piece, this weapon of iron and wood! And you
will be faithful! Port ... hut! Prepare to
mount! Mount!
On HARTMAN's command the platoon mount their
bunks with their rifles and lie on their backs at
attention.
HARTMAN
Port . . . hut!
The recruits snap their rifles to the port arms
position. over their chests.
HARTMAN
Pray!
RECRUITS
(in unison)
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but
this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It
is my life. I must master it, as I must master
my life.
Without me my rifle is useless. Without my
rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I
must shoot straighter than my enemy who is
trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he
shoots me. I will.
Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and
myself are defenders of my country. We are
the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors
of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy
... but peace. Amen.
HARTMAN
Order . . . hut!
The recruits snap their rifles down to their sides.
HARTMAN
At ease!
HARTMAN turns off the barracks lights.
HARTMAN
Good night, ladies.
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Good night, sir!
HARTMAN
(to duty guard)
Hit it, sweetheart!
DUTY GUARD
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
8 EXT. PARADE FIELD--DAWN
HARTMAN drills the platoon.
HARTMAN
Right shoulder ... hut! This is not your
daddy's shotgun, Cowboy. Left shoulder ...
hut! Move your rifle around your head, not
your head around your rifle. Port ... hut!
Four inches from your chest, Pyle! Four
inches!
9 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
HARTMAN marches the recruits through the squad
bay. Their rifles are at shoulder arms and their
left hands clutch their genitals.
HARTMAN
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
RECRUITS
This is for fighting! This is for fun!
HARTMAN
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
RECRUITS
This is my rifle! This is my gun!
They repeat this over and over again as they
march up and down the squad bay.
DISSOLVE TO:
10 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN marching the platoon, calling cadence.
11 EXT. "ARMSTRETCHER" OBSTACLE--DAY
Hand over hand the recruits swing along the
"Armstretcher."
HARTMAN
Ten fucking seconds! It should take you no
more than ten fucking seconds to negotiate
this obstacle! Quickly, move it out! There
ain't one swinging dick private in this platoon's
gonna graduate until they can get this obstacle
down to less than ten fucking seconds!
12 EXT. "TOUGH ONE" OBSTACLE--DAY
HARTMAN watches as the recruits climb ropes and
ladders to a high wooden tower above the platform
13 EXT. PUGIL-STICK CIRCLE--DAY
PYLE and another recruit, wearing football-style
helmets, batter each other with pugil sticks.
The recruits are formed up around them in a circle.
They cheer as PYLE is beaten, to the ground.
14. EXT. "DIRTY NAME" OBSTACLE--DAY
RECRUITS waiting in two lines for their turn.
HARTMAN
Next two privates! Quickly!
The next two recruits struggle over the obstacle.
HARTMAN
Get over that goddamn obstacle! Move it!
Next two privates! Quickly! Hurry up! Get
up there!
JOKER and another recruit go over easily.
HARTMAN
Private Joker, are you a killer?
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Let me hear your war cry!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Next two privates, go!
PYLE and another recruit. PYLE is hopeless.
HARTMAN
Quickly! Get your fat ass over there, Private
Pyle! Oh, that's right, Private Pyle ... don't
make any fucking effort to get to the top of
the fucking obstacle! If God wanted you up
there He would have miracled your ass up
there by now, wouldn't He?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Get your fat ass up there, Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
What the hell is the matter with you anyway?
I'll bet you if there was some pussy up there
on top of that obstacle you could get up there!
Couldn't you?!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
PYLE drops heavily to the ground.
HARTMAN
Your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty
pounds of chewed bubble gum, Pyle. Do you
know that?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
15 EXT. CHINNING BAR--DAY
Recruits are doing pull-ups. HARTMAN watches
JOKER finishing many, many of them.
HARTMAN
One for the Corps! Get up there! Pull!
JOKER finally drops to the ground.
HARTMAN
I guess the Corps don't get theirs. Get up
there, Pyle!
PYLE tries to do a pull-up but can't get to the top of
the bar.
HARTMAN
Pull! Pull, Pyle, pull! One pull-up, Pyle! Come
on, pull! You gotta be shitting me, Pyle! Get
your ass up there! Do you mean to tell me
that you cannot do one single pull-up?
PYLE, exhausted from his efforts, drops to the
ground.
HARTMAN
You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle!! Get
out of my face! Get up there, Snowball!
16 EXT. "CONFIDENCE CLIMB"--DAY
PYLE climbs a high obstacle.
HARTMAN
Get up here, fatboy! Quickly! Move it up!
Move it up, Pyle! Move it up! You climb
obstacles like old people fuck. Do you know
that, Private Pyle? Get up here! You're too
slow! Move it, move it! Private Pyle, what-
ever you do, don't fall down! That would
break my fucking heart! Quickly!
PYLE freezes at the top.
HARTMAN
Up and over! Up and over! Well, what in the
fuck are you waiting for, Private Pyle? Get
up and over! Move it, move it, move it! Are
you quitting on me? Well, are you! Then quit
you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of
shit! Get the fuck off my obstacle! Get the
fuck down off of my obstacle! Now!
PYLE climbs back down his side of the obstacle.
HARTMAN
Move it! I'm gonna rip your balls off so you
cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I
will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-
dicks every cannibal on the Congo!
17 EXT. ROAD--DAY
The platoon is irregularly strung out on a road
nearing the end of a rapid, forced march.
PYLE is at the end of the line ready to drop.
Supported by JOKER, PYLE Staggers along as
HARTMAN bellows at him.
HARTMAN
Pick'em up and set'em down, Pyle!
Quickly! Move it up! Were you born a fat
slimy scumbag, you piece of shit, Private
Pyle? Or did you have to work on it? Move
it up! Quickly! Hustle up! The fucking war
will be over by the time we get out there,
won't it, Private Pyle?
HARTMAN gives PYLE a shove.
HARTMAN
Move it!
PYLE gasps for breath.
HARTMAN
Are you going to fucking die, Pyle? Are you
going to die on me!! Do it now! Move it up!
Hustle it up! Quickly, quickly, quickly! Do
you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H.
Christ, I think you've got a hard-on!
18 EXT. MUD OBSTACLE--DAY
The platoon tries to run, through the mud. PYLE
half carried by JOKER and COWBOY falls taking
JOKER down with him.
HARTMAN
Quickly ladies! Assholes and elbows! Move it
out! Get up there! Move it! Move it, move it,
move it!
19 INT. BARRACKS--PRE-DAWN
HARTMAN and two Junior Drill Instructors stride
into the Squad Bay. The lights go on. HARTMAN
bangs loudly on an empty metal garbage can which
he carries into the room.
HARTMAN
Reveille! Reveille! Reveille! Drop your cocks
and grab your socks! Today is Sunday! Divine
worship at zero-eight-hundred! Get your
bunks made and get your uniforms on. Police
call will commence in two minutes!
HARTMAN stops in front of JOKER's bunk.
HARTMAN
Private Cowboy! Private Joker!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
As soon as you finish your bunks, I want you
two turds to clean the head.
JOKER & COWBOY
(in unison)
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN
I want that head so sanitary and squared
away that the Virgin Mary herself would be
proud to go in there and take a dump!
JOKER & COWBOY
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin
Mary?
JOKER
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN throws down the garbage can with a loud
bang.
HARTMAN
Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you
correctly!
JOKER
Sir, the private said "No, sir," sir!
HARTMAN
Why, you little maggot! You make me want to
vomit!
HARTMAN slaps JOKER, hard, across the cheek.
HARTMAN
You goddam communist heathen, you had best
sound off that you love the Virgin Mary . . . or
I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you do
love the Virgin Mary, don't you?!
JOKER
Sir, negative, sir!!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?!
JOKER
Sir, negative, sir!!! Sir, the private believes
that any answer he gives will be wrong! And
the Senior Drill Instructor will beat him
harder if he reverses himself, sir!
HARTMAN
Who's your squad leader, scumbag?
JOKER
Sir, the private's squad leader is Private
Snowball, sir!!!
HARTMAN
Private Snowball!
SNOWBALL double-times up to HARTMAN.
SNOWBALL
Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered,
sir!
HARTMAN
Private Snowball, you're fired! Private Joker is
promoted to squad leader!
SNOWBALL
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle!
PYLE
Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, from now on Private Joker is
your new squad leader, and you will bunk
with him! He'll teach you everything. He'll
teach you how to pee.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but
he's got guts, and guts is enough. Now, you
ladies carry on.
JOKER, COWBOY & PYLE
(in unison)
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
20 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY
JOKER patiently explains the disassembly of an
M-14 rifle to PYLE.
JOKER
The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.
Operating rod handle. Operating rod guide.
21 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
JOKER and PYLE sitting on their footlockers. JOKER
instructs PYLE in the correct method of lacing his
combat boots.
JOKER
And the left one ... over the right. Right one
over the left. Left one over the right. Right
one over the left.
22 EXT. CONFIDENCE CLIMB--DAY
On. top of the confidence climb, JOKER gently talks
PYLE over the top.
JOKER
Just throw your other leg over ... that'a boy.
That's it. Now just pull the next one over .. .
and you're home free. Ready? Just throw it
over. That'a boy. Just set it down. All right?
PYLE breathes heavily. He is scared but he manages
to get over.
JOKER
There you go. Congratulations, Leonard. You
did it.
23 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
JOKER instructs PYLE in the correct way of making
his bed.
JOKER
You fold the blanket and the sheet back
together. Make a four-inch fold. Okay?
Got it? You do it.
PYLE looks down. uncertainly at the bed.
24 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
JOKER works with PYLE on the Manual of Arms.
25 EXT. OBSTACLE COURSE--DAY
COWBOY, JOKER and PYLE run up a ramp, grab the
ropes and swing across a ditch. PYLE makes it
without trouble.
26 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN is drilling the squad, calling the cadence
and watching PYLE who makes no mistakes.
DISSOLVE TO:
27 EXT. RIFLE RANGE--DAY
Targets are raised and lowered, red markers
indicating hits. HARTMAN addresses the recruits.
HARTMAN
The deadliest weapon in the world is a ma-
rine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct
which must be harnessed if you expect to sur-
vive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is
a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts
are not clean and strong you will hesitate at
the moment of truth. You will not kill. You
will become dead marines. And then you will
be in a world of shit. Because marines are not
allowed to die without permission! Do you
maggots understand?
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
28 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY
The recruits are double-timing to HARTMAN's
cadences.
HARTMAN
(chanting in cadence)
I love working for Uncle Sam!
RECRUITS
(chanting in cadence)
I love working for Uncle Sam!
HARTMAN
Lets me know just who I am!
RECRUITS
Lets me know just who I am!
HARTMAN
One, two, three, four! United States Marine
Corps!
RECRUITS
One, two, three, four! United States Marine
Corps!
HARTMAN
One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps!
RECRUITS
One, two, three, four! I love the Marine Corps.
HARTMAN
My Corps!
RECRUITS
My Corps!
HARTMAN
Your Corps!
RECRUITS
Your Corps!
HARTMAN
Our Corps!
RECRUITS
Our Corps!
HARTMAN
Marine Corps!
RECRUITS
Marine Corps!
HARTMAN
I don't know, but I've been told.
RECRUITS
I don't know, but I've been told.
HARTMAN
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!
RECRUITS
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold!
HARTMAN
Mmm, good!
RECRUITS
Mmm, good!
HARTMAN
Feels good!
RECRUITS
Feels good!
HARTMAN
Is good!
RECRUITS
Is good!
HARTMAN
Real good!
RECRUITS
Real good!
HARTMAN
Tastes good!
RECRUITS
Tastes good!
HARTMAN
Mighty good!
RECRUITS
Mighty good!
HARTMAN
Good for you!
RECRUITS
Good for you!
HARTMAN
Good for me!
RECRUITS
Good for me!
29 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The recruits in their skivvies stand at attention in
two facing rows on top of their footlockers, arms
outstretched, hands held rigidly in front of them,
palms down, for inspection.
HARTMAN moves along the row of men. He smacks
a recruit's hand.
HARTMAN
Trim 'em.
HARTMAN points at the feet of another recruit.
HARTMAN
Toejam!
To another recruit.
HARTMAN
Pop that blister!
HARTMAN stops in front of PYLE and notices his foot-
locker is unlocked. He picks up the lock and holds it
up to PYLE.
HARTMAN
Jesus H. Christ! Private Pyle, why is your
footlocker unlocked?
PYLE
Sir, I don't know, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this
world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker!
You know that, don't you?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there
wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would
there?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Get down!
PYLE steps down, from the footlocker. HARTMAN flips
open the lid with a bang and begins rummaging
through the box.
HARTMAN
Well, now .. . let's just see if there's anything
missing!
HARTMAN freezes. He reaches down and slowly picks
up a jelly doughnut, holding it in disgust at arm's
length with his fingertips.
HARTMAN
Holy Jesus! What is that? What is that,
Private Pyle?!
PYLE
Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
HARTMAN
A jelly doughnut?!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
How did it get here?
PYLE
Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
HARTMAN
Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts,
Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
And why not, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
HARTMAN
Because you are a disgusting fatbody, Private
Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut in
your footlocker, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, because I was hungry, sir!
HARTMAN
Because you were hungry?
Holding out the jelly doughnut, HARTMAN walks
down the row of recruits still standing with their
arms outstretched.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle has dishonored himself and
dishonored the platoon! I have tried to help
him, but I have failed! I have failed because
you have not helped me! You people have not
given Private Pyle the proper motivation!
So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle
fucks up, I will not punish him, I will punish
all of you! And the way I see it, ladies, you
owe me for one jelly doughnut! Now, get on
your faces!
HARTMAN
(to PYLE)
Open your mouth!
He shoves the jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth.
HARTMAN
They're paying for it, you eat it!
HARTMAN turns to the recruits.
HARTMAN
Ready . . . exercise!
The platoon does push-ups.
RECRUITS
(chanting in cadence)
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four!
I love the Marine Corps!
One, two, three, four . . .
While the platoon does push-ups, PYLE swallows
hard to get down. bites of the doughnut.
DISSOLVE TO:
30 INT. BARRACKS--DAWN
JOKER checks PYLE's Uniform.
JOKER
(quietly)
You really look like shit today, Leonard.
PYLE
Joker? Everybody hates me now. Even you.
JOKER
Nobody hates you, Leonard. You just keep
making mistakes, getting everybody in
trouble.
PYLE
I can't do anything right. I need help.
JOKER
I'm trying to help you, Leonard. I'm really
trying.
PYLE grins, trustingly.
JOKER
Tuck your shirt in.
DISSOLVE TO:
31 EXT. TRAINING FIELD--DAY
The platoon does squat thrusts as PYLE sits, his
cap on backwards, sucking his thumb. HARTMAN
watches.
RECRUITS
(counting in unison)
One, two, three . . . nineteen!
One, two, three . . . twenty!
One, two, three . . . twenty-one!
One, two, three . . . twenty-two!
One, two, three . . . twenty-three!
One, two, three . . . twenty-four!
One, two, three . . . twenty-five!
One, two, three . . . twenty-six!
One, two, three . . . twenty-seven!
One, two, three . . . twenty-eight!
One, two, three . . . twenty-nine!
One, two, three . . . thirty!
FADE TO BLACK
32 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
We see a towel on a bed. A bar of soap is tossed
on the towel. The towel is folded over the soap
forming a weapon.
A hand picks up the towel-weapon and bangs it
on the mattress making a dull thud.
PYLE is asleep in his bunk.
The platoon silently slip out of their beds and
form up around PYLE.
A blanket is thrown over PYLE, each corner held
down by a recruit, pinning PYLE to the bed.
COWBOY shoves a gag in PYLE's mouth.
PYLE is helpless.
The platoon files past beating PYLE with the bars
of soap wrapped in towels.
PYLE's screams are muffled by the gag.
JOKER is the last one. He stands back from the bed.
COWBOY
(to JOKER)
Do it! Do it!
JOKER hesitates, then moves forward and hits
PYLE hard several times.
Then JOKER jumps into his bunk.
The recruits yank the restraining blanket of PYLE
and run back to their bunks.
COWBOY
(removing gag)
Remember, it's just a bad dream, fatboy.
PYLE sobs loudly and sits up, holding himself in
pain.
Lying in, his bunk, JOKER covers his ears.
FADE IN:
33 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
The platoon is lined up.
HARTMAN
Port... hut! Left shoulder ... hut! Right
shoulder ... hut! Port ... hut! Do we love
our beloved Corps, ladies?
RECRUITS
(shouting in unison)
Semper fi, do or die! Gung ho, gung ho,
gung ho!
PYLE says nothing, just stares straight ahead.
HARTMAN
What makes the grass grow?
RECRUITS
Blood, blood, blood!
PYLE stares. Does not join in the shouting.
HARTMAN
What do we do for a living, ladies?
RECRUITS
Kill, kill, kill!
PYLE remains silent.
HARTMAN
I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Kill, kill, kill!
HARTMAN
Bullshit! I still can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Kill, kill, kill!
PYLE continues to stare blankly ahead.
34 EXT. BLEACHERS--DAY
The platoon sits on bleachers facing HARTMAN.
HARTMAN
Do any of you people know who Charles
Whitman was?
No response.
HARTMAN
None of you dumbasses knows?
COWBOY raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Cowboy?
COWBOY
Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people
from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed
twenty people from a twenty-eight-story
observation tower at the University of Texas
from distances up to four hundred yards.
HARTMAN looks around.
HARTMAN
Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was?
Almost everybody raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Snowball?
SNOWBALL
Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!
HARTMAN
That's right, and do you know how far away
he was?
SNOWBALL
Sir, it was pretty far! From that book
suppository building, sir!
The recruits laugh at "suppository. "
HARTMAN
All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty
feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away
and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got
off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action
rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits,
including a head shot! Do any of you people
know where these individuals learned to
shoot?
JOKER raises his hand.
HARTMAN
Private Joker?
JOKER
Sir, in the Marines, sir!
HARTMAN
In the Marines! Outstanding! Those
individuals showed what one motivated
marine and his rifle can do! And before you
ladies leave my island, you will be able to
do the same thing!
Camera slowly moves in on PYLE staring at
HARTMAN.
35 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
Recruits standing at attention in two facing rows.
HARTMAN walks between the rows, leading them
in song.
HARTMAN & RECRUITS
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday, dear Jesus,
Happy Birthday to you!
HARTMAN
Today ... is Christmas! There will be a
magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain
Charlie will tell you about how the free
world will conquer Communism with the
aid of God and a few marines!
God has a hard-on for marines because we
kill everything we see! He plays His games,
we play ours! To show our appreciation for
so much power, we keep heaven packed
with fresh souls! God was here before the
Marine Corps! So you can give your heart
to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!
Do you ladies understand?
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
Sir, yes, sir!
36 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The recruits are seated on footlockers, cleaning their
rifles. HARTMAN prowls among them, watching.
PYLE talks softly to his rifle.
JOKER looks at him uneasily.
PYLE
(to his rifle)
It's been swabbed.... and wiped. Everything
is clean. Beautiful. So that it slides perfectly.
Nice. Everything cleaned. Oiled. So that your
action is beautiful. Smooth, Charlene.
DISSOLVE TO:
37 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
A few recruits, including PYLE, are mopping the
floor.
38 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT
In the latrine COWBOY and JOKER are also mopping
the floor.
JOKER stops, looks around to be sure they are alone,
and turns to COWBOY.
JOKER
Leonard talks to his rifle.
COWBOY keeps mopping.
COWBOY
Yeah!
JOKER
I don't think Leonard can hack it anymore. I
think Leonard's a Section Eight.
Pause.
COWBOY
It don't surprise me.
They both go back to mopping.
JOKER speaks again after some silence.
JOKER
I want to slip my tubesteak into your sister.
What'll you take in trade?
COWBOY
What have you got?
39 EXT. FIRING RANGE--DAY
HARTMAN kneels behind PYLE, looking on with
approval.
PYLE finishes a good group and reloads his M-14.
HARTMAN
Outstanding, Private Pyle! I think we've
finally found something that you do well!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
40 EXT. PARADE DECK--DAY
HARTMAN inspects the recruits.
HARTMAN
(to JOKER)
What's your sixth General Order?
JOKER
Sir, the private's sixth general order is to
receive and obey and to pass on to the sentry
who relieves me ... all orders ... Sir, the
private's sixth ... Sir, the private has been
instructed but he does not know, sir!
HARTMAN
You slimy scumbag, get on your face and give
me twenty-five!
JOKER
Sir, aye-aye, sir!
HARTMAN walks to PYLE.
HARTMAN
How many counts in that movement you've
just executed?
PYLE
Sir, four counts, sir!
HARTMAN
What's the idea of looking down in the
chamber?
PYLE
Sir, that is the guarantee that the private is
not giving the inspecting officer a loaded
weapon, sir!
HARTMAN
What's your fifth general order?
PYLE
Sir, the private's fifth general order is to quit
my post only when properly relieved, sir!
HARTMAN
What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle?
PYLE
Sir, the private's weapon's name is Charlene,
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you are definitely born again
hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a
rifleman in my beloved Corps.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
41 EXT. PARRIS ISLAND STREET--DAY
HARTMAN double-timing the recruits, calling
cadence.
HARTMAN
I don't want no teenage queen.
RECRUITS
I don't want no teenage queen.
HARTMAN
I just want my M-14.
RECRUITS
I just want my M-14.
HARTMAN
If I die in the combat zone.
RECRUITS
If I die in the combat zone.
HARTMAN
Box me up and ship me home.
RECRUITS
Box me up and ship me home.
HARTMAN
Pin my medals upon my chest.
RECRUITS
Pin my medals upon my chest.
HARTMAN
Tell my mom I've done my best.
RECRUITS
Tell my mom I've done my best.
DISSOLVE TO:
42 EXT. FOREST--DAY
Woods. For the first time the platoon marches in
full combat gear carrying rifles.
JOKER
(narration)
Graduation is only a few days away and the
recruits of platoon thirty-ninety-two are salty.
They are ready to eat their own guts and ask
for seconds.
43 EXT. FIELD--DAY
In full combat gear and with fixed bayonets, the
recruits charge through green smoke.
JOKER
(narration)
The drill instructors are proud to see that we
are growing beyond their control. The Marine
Corps does not want robots. The Marine
Corps wants killers. The Marine Corps wants
to build indestructible men, men without fear.
44 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
HARTMAN talks to the recruits formed up in a
school-circle.
HARTMAN
Today you people are no longer maggots.
Today you are marines. You're part of a
brotherhood.
45 EXT. PARADE GROUND--DAY
Graduation. A marching band. Spectators.
Hundreds of marines parade by in dress uniform.
HARTMAN
(voice over)
From now on, until the day you die, wherever
you are, every marine is your brother. Most of
you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not
come back. But always remember this:
marines die, that's what we're here for! But
the Marine Corps lives forever. And that
means you live forever!
DISSOLVE TO:
46 INT. BARRACKS--DAY
HARTMAN talks to the platoon, again in a school-
circle.
HARTMAN
Pickett!
PICKETT
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Toejam!
TOEJAM
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Adams!
ADAMS
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Eighteen-hundred, Engineers. You go out
and find mines. Cowboy!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry! Taylor!
TAYLOR
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
O-three-hundred, Infantry. Joker!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Forty-two-twelve, Basic Military Journalism.
You gotta be shitting me, Joker! You think
you're Mickey Spillane? Do you think you're
some kind of fucking writer?
JOKER
Sir, I wrote for my high school newspaper, sir!
HARTMAN
Jesus H. Christ, you're not a writer, you're
a killer!
JOKER
A killer, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Gomer Pyle!
PYLE doesn't answer.
HARTMAN
Gomer Pyle!
We see PYLE in close-up, now completely with-
drawn, barely able to answer HARTMAN.
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
You forget your fucking name? O-three-
hundred, Infantry. You made it. Perkins!
PERKINS
Sir, yes, sir!
47 INT. BARRACKS--NIGHT
The platoon sleeps. JOKER walks slowly down the
squad bay with a flashlight.
JOKER
(Narration)
Our last night on the island. I draw fire
watch.
JOKER hears a muffled sound. He isn't sure where
it comes from. He slowly enters the latrine.
48 INT. LATRINE--NIGHT
Running his flashlight across the room JOKER Sees
PYLE sitting on a toilet, loading a magazine for
his M-14 rifle.
PYLE looks up at JOKER and smiles. It is a
frightening smile.
PYLE
(strange voice)
Hi, Joker.
JOKER stares at PYLE for a few seconds.
PYLE has suite clearly snapped.
JOKER
Are those ... live rounds?
PYLE
Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket.
PYLE smiles grotesquely.
JOKER
Leonard .. . if Hartman comes in here and
catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit.
PYLE
I am .. . in a world . . . of shit!
PYLE gets to his feet, snaps his rifle to port arms,
and starts executing the Manual of Arms.
PYLE
(shouting)
Left shoulder ... hut! Right shoulder ...
hut! Lock and load! Order ... hut!
PYLE picks up the loaded magazine, inserts it into
the rifle and smartly brings the rifle down to the
order arms position.
PYLE
(shouting)
This is my rifle! There are many like it, but
this one is mine.
49 INT. BARRACKS HALLWAY--NIGHT
By now the platoon is awake.
HARTMAN bursts from his room, wearing his
skivvies and D.I. hat.
PYLE
(offscreen)
My rifle is my best friend! It is my life!
HARTMAN
Get back in your bunks!
PYLE
(o.s.)
I must master it as I must master my life!
Without me ...
50 INT. LATRINES--NIGHT
HARTMAN Storms into the latrine.
HARTMAN
What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What in the
name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals
doing in my head?
(to JOKER)
Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after
lights out?! Why is Private Pyle holding that
weapon? Why aren't you stomping Private
Pyle's guts out?
JOKER
Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the
Senior Drill Instructor that Private Pyie has a
full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir!
HARTMAN and PYLE look at each other. PYLE Smiles
from the depths of his own hell.
HARTMAN focuses all of his considerable powers of
intimidation, into his best John- Wayne-on-Suribachi
voice.
HARTMAN
Now you listen to me, Private Pyle, and,you
listen good. I want that weapon, and I want it
now! You will place that rifle on the deck at
your feet and step back away from it.
With a twisted smile on his face pyLE POintS his
rifle at HARTMAN.
HARTMAN look suddenly calm. His eyes, his manner
are those of a wanderer who has found his home.
HARTMAN
What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!!
Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough
attention when you were a child?!!!
BANG!
The round hits HARTMAN in the chest.
He falls back dead.
JOKER and PYLE stand looking at the body.
Then PYLE looks at JoKER and slowly raises his rifle.
JOKER
(trembling)
Easy, Leonard. Go easy, man.
PYLE breathes heavily, and Keeps the rifle aimed at
JOKER.
JOKER is scared shitless.
PYLE looks at JOKER for several seconds and slowly
lowers the rifle. Then he stumbles back a few steps
and sits down, heavily on the toilet.
PYLE turns away from JOKER and stares into space,
a strangely peaceful look transforming his face.
He places the muzzle of the rifle in his mouth.
JOKER
No!!!
BANG!
PYLE pulls the trigger and blows the back of his
head over the white tiled wall behind him.
SCENE FADES TO BLACK
FADE IN:
51 EXT. DA NANG STREET, VIETNAM--DAY
Motorcycles, cars, Vietnamese civilians. Swinging
her hips ruith exaggerated sexiness, an attractive
HOOKER in a mini-skirt walks toward a cafe' table
on the pavement ulhere JOKER and RAFTERMAN are
seated.
Music: Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made
for Walking."
The girl stops at JOKER's table.
HOOKER
Hey, baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam?
JOKER
Not just this minute.
HOOKER
Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me
love you long time. You party?
JOKER
Yeah, we might party. How much?
HOOKER
Fifteen dolla.
JOKER
Fifteen dollars for both of us?
HOOKER
No. Each you fifteen dolla. Me love you long
time. Me so horny.
JOKER
Fifteen dollar too boo-coo. Five dollars each.
HOOKER
Me suckee-suckee. Me love you too much.
JOKER
Five dollars is all my mom allows me to
spend.
HOOKER
Okay! Ten dolla each.
JOKER
What do we get for ten dollars?
HOOKER
Everything you want.
JOKER
Everything?
HOOKER
Everything.
JOKER
Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of
your hard-earned money?
RAFTERMAN
Just a minute.
RAFTERMAN raises his Nikon and starts
photographing JOKER and the HOOKER.
The girl strikes quick poses for the camera and
coughs.
JOKER puts his arm around her.
JOKER
You know, half these gook whores are serving
officers in the Viet Cong.
The girl coughs again.
JOKER
The other half have got T.B. Make sure you
only fuck the ones that cough.
A young vietnamese boy walks up behind
RAFTERMAN and grabs the Nikon camera from his
hands.
The boy runs to an accomplice sitting on a waiting
motorbike and tosses the camera to him. Then in
mockery the BOY excecutes a few, Bruce Lee moves
before jumping on the bike and zooming off:
JOKER laughs.
DISSOLVE TO
52 EXT. U.S. MARINE BASE--DAY
The main gates of the base. High-security fencing.
Tanks, jeeps, trucks. A military helicopter lands.
DISSOLVE TO:
53 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAY
JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk down the base street
past rows of hootches and other buildings. In the
background some marines play basketball.
JOKER
That little sucker really had some moves on
him, didn't he?
RAFTERMAN
Yeah ... You know what really pisses me off
about these people?
JOKER
What?
RAFTERMAN
We're supposed to be helping them and they
shit all over us every chance they get ... I
just can't feature that.
JOKER
Don't take it too hard, Rafterman. It's just
business.
RAFTERMAN
I hate Da Nang, Joker. I want to go out into
the field. I've been in this country almost
three months, and all I do is take handshake
shots at awards ceremonies.
JOKER
You get wasted your first day in the field and
it'd be my fault.
RAFTERMAN
A high school girl could do my job. I want to
get out into the shit. I want to get some
trigger time.
JOKER
If you get killed, your mom will find me after
I rotate back to the world and she'll beat the
shit out of me. That's a negative, Rafterman.
54 INT. SEA-TIGER HUT--DAY
A Quonset hut. An editorial meeting of The Sea
Tiger, the official marine newspaper, is in progress
presided over by LIEUTENANT LOCKHART.
JOKER, RAFTERMAN, and six other marine
correspondens are seated around a large messy
table covered with cameras, photographs,
newspapers artd magazines.
LOCKHART
Okay, guys, let's keep it short and sweet
today. Anybody got anything new?
JOKER
There's a rumor going around that the Tet
ceasefire is gonna be cancelled.
LOCKHART
Rear-echelon paranoia.
JOKER
A bro in Intelligence says Charlie might try to
pull off something big during the Tet holiday.
LOCKHART
They say the same thing every year.
JOKER
There's a lot of talk about it, sir.
LOCKHART
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. The Tet
holiday's like the Fourth of July, Christmas
and New Year all rolled into one. Every
zipperhead in Nam, North and South, will be
banging gongs, barking at the moon and
visiting his dead relatives.
LOCKHART
All right ...Ann-Margret and entourage are
due here next week. I want someone to be
there on the airfield and stick with her for a
couple of days. Uh, Rafterman, you take it.
RAFTERMAN
Aye-aye, sir.
LOCKHART
Get me some good low-angle stuff. Don't make
it too obvious, but I want to see fur and early
morning dew.
RAFTERMAN
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"Diplomats in Dungarees--Marine engineers
lend a helping hand rebuilding Dong Phuc
villages . . ." Chili, if we move Vietnamese,
they are evacuees. If they come to us to be
evacuated, they are refugees.
CHILI
I'll make a note of it, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"N.V.A. Soldier Deserts After Reading
Pamphlets --A young North Vietnamese Army
regular, who realized his side could not win
the war, deserted from his unit after reading
Open Arms program pamphlets." That's good,
Dave. But why say North Vietnamese Army
regular? Is there an irregular? How about
North Vietnamese Army soldier?
DAVE
I'll fix it up, sir.
LOCKHART
Lawrence Welk Show's gonna go out on TV in
two weeks. Dave, do a hundred words on it.
AFTV'll give you some background stuff.
DAVE
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
(reading)
"Not While We're Eating--N.V.A. learn
marines on a search and destroy mission don't
like to be interrupted while eating chow."
Search and destroy. Uh, we have a new
directive from M.A.F. on this. In the future, in
place of"search and destroy," substitute the
phrase "sweep and clear." Got it?
JOKER
Got it. Very catchy.
LOCKHART
And, Joker ... where's the weenie?
JOKER
Sir!
LOCKHART
The Kill, JOKER. The kill. I mean, all that fire,
the grunts must've hit something.
JOKER
Didn't see 'em.
LOCKHART
Joker, I've told you, we run two basic stories
here. Grunts who give half their pay to buy
gooks toothbrushes and deodorants--Winning
of Hearts and Minds--okay? And combat
action that results in a kill--Winning the War.
Now you must have seen blood trails ... drag
marks?
JOKER
It was raining, sir.
LOCKHART
Well, that's why God passed the law of
probability. Now rewrite it and give it a happy
ending--say, uh, one kill. Make it a sapper or
an officer. Which?
JOKER
Whichever you say.
LOCKHART
Grunts like reading about dead officers.
JOKER
Okay, an officer. How about a general?
A few laughs.
LOCKHART
Joker, maybe you'd like our guys to read the
paper and feel bad. I mean, in case you didn't
know it, this is not a particularly popular war.
Now, it is our job to report the news that
these why-are-we-here civilian newsmen
ignore.
JOKER
Sir, maybe you should go out on some ops
yourself. I'm sure you could find a lot more
blood trails and drag marks.
Some laughs.
LOCKHART
JOKER, I've had my ass in the grass. Can't say
I liked it much. Lots of bugs and too
dangerous. As it happens, my present duties
keep me where I belong. In the rear with the
gear.
DISSOLVE TO:
55 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DUSK
Rows of hootches. In the distance, fireworks.
JOKER
(voiceover)
Tet. The Year of the Monkey. Vietnamese
Lunar New Year's Eve. Down in Dogpatch, the
gooks are shooting off fireworks to celebrate.
DISSOLVE TO:
56 INT. HOOTCH--NIGHT
JOKER, RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the others are in
their bunks, reading, lazing, smoking grass. JOKER
is writing in a notebook.
JOKER
(yawns and stretches)
I am fucking bored to death, man. I gotta get
back in the shit. I ain't heard a shot fired in
anger in weeks.
PAYBACK
Joker's so tough he'd eat the boogers out of a
dead man's nose ... then ask for seconds.
Some laughs.
JOKER
(John Wayne voice)
Listen up, pilgrim. A day without blood is like
a day without sunshine.
PAYBACK
Shi-i--i-t! Joker thinks the bad bush is
between old mama-san's legs.
Some laughs.
PAYBACK
He's never been in the shit. It's hard to talk
about it, man. It's like on Hastings.
CHILI
Aw, you weren't on Operation Hastings,
Payback. You weren't even in country.
PAYBACK
Eat shit and die, you fucking Spanish-
American! You fucking poge! I was there,
man. I was in the shit with the grunts.
JOKER
(John Wayne voice)
Don't listen to any of Payback's bullshit,
Rafterman. Sometimes he thinks he's John
Wayne.
PAYBACK
You listen to Joker, new guy. He knows ti ti.
Very little. You know he's never been in the
shit,'cause he ain't got the stare.
RAFTERMAN
The stare?
PAYBACK
The thousand-yard stare. A marine gets it
after he's been in the shit for too long. It's like
... it's like you've really seen beyond. I got it.
All field marines got it. And you'll have it too.
RAFTERMAN
I will?
STORK
Hey, Payback. How do you stop five black
dudes from raping a white chick?
PAYBACK
Fuck you, Stork.
STORK
Throw'em a basketball.
Laughter.
They are startled by the dull boom of mortar shells
outside.
DAVE
Incoming.
PAYBACK
Oh, shit!
CHILI
They're outgoing.
DAVE
That ain't outgoing!
Some closer explosions, much louder.
CHILI
That ain't outgoing!
DAVE
Now what I just say?
The men grab their helmets, flak jackets and
weapons and run outside.
RAFTERMAN
Joker, is this for real?
JOKER
Yes, it is, Rafterman.
57 EXT. DA NANG BASE--NIGHT
Men running everywhere. Sirens. A mortar round
lands in the distance, then others nearer. Fires
are breaking out.
58 INT. BUNKER--NIGHT
JOKER loads an M-60 machine gun, then hunches
down watching the main gate of the perimeter.
JOKER
Hey, I hope they're just fucking with us. I
ain't ready for this shit.
STORK
Amen.
The sound ofa truck approaching.
The marines get set.
The truch smashes though the gates.
The marines open fire.
The truck is hit by a hail of automatic fire; it
explodes and starts burning.
N.V.A. troops follow the truck through the gate.
The attackers are cut down by a withering fire
from the marines.
The attack peters out.
People yell, "Cease fire."
The firing trails off:
DISSOLVE TO:
59 EXT. DA NANG BASE--DAWN
JOKER and RAFTERMAN walk through the wreckage
of the night's battle.
Prisoners are led past.
LOCKHART
(voice over)
The enemy has very deceitfully taken
advantage of the Tet ceasefire to launch an
offensive all over the country. So far, we've
had it pretty easy here. But we seem to be
the exception.
60 INT. SEA-TIGER OFFICE--DAWN
Dirty and still in. their combat gear, JOKER,
RAFTERMAN, PAYBACK and the other correspondents
are slumped in, their chairs around the table.
LOCKHART
(walking)
Charlie has hit every major military target
in Vietnam, and hit 'em hard. In Saigon, the
United States Embassy has been overrun by
suicide squads. Khe Sahn is standing by to
be overrun. We also have reports that a divi-
sion of N.V.A. has occupied all of the city of
Hue south of the Perfume River. In strate-
gic terms, Charlie's cut the country in
half... the civilian press are about to wet
their pants and we've heard even Cronkite's
going to say the war is now unwinnable.
In other words, it's a huge shit sandwich,
and we're all gonna have to take a bite.
Long, serious pause.
JOKER
Sir ... does this mean that Ann-Margret's not coming?
Laughter.
LOCKHART
(pissed off)
Joker.... I want you to get straight up to Phu
Bai. Captain January will need all his people.
JOKER
Yes, sir.
LOCKHART
And Joker, you will take off that damn button.
How's it gonna look if you get killed wearing
a peace symbol?
RAFTERMAN
Sir? Permission to go with Joker?
LOCKHART
Permission granted.
RAFTERMAN
Thank you, sir.
JOKER
Sir, permission not to take Rafterman with
me?
LOCKHART
You still here? Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick,
and take Rafterman with you. You're
responsible for him.
61 EXT. HELICOPTER SHOTS--DAWN
A military helicopter flies past a huge sun.
62 INT. AERIAL HELICOPTER--DUSK
JOKER Sits looking out the door.
RAFTERMAN is frightened and airsick.
The DOORGUNNER laughs and yells as he fires his
M-60 machine gun.
We see Vietnamese below running and falling.
DOORGUNNER
Get some ... get some ... get some ... get
some ... yeah ... yeah ... get some ... get
some.
After a while the DOORGUNNER stops firing and
grins at JOKER.
DOORGUNNER
(shouting to be heard)
Anyone who runs is a V.C. Anyone who
stands still is a well-disciplined V.C.
(laughs)
You guys oughtta do a story about me
sometime.
JOKER
Why should we do a story about you?
DOORGUNNER
'Cause I'm so fucking good! That ain't no
shit neither. I've done got me one hundred
and fifty-seven dead gooks killed. And fifty
water buffaloes, too. Them're all certified.
RAFTERMAN gags.
JOKER
Any women or children?
DOORGUNNER
Sometimes.
JOKER
How can you shoot women and children?
RAFTERMAN gags.
DOORGUNNER
Easy. You just don't lead 'em so much.
(laughs)
Ain't war hell?
DISSOLVE TO:
63 EXT. LZ HUE--DAY
The helicopter lands.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN jump out, duck down low
and move away through pink smoke blown by the
rotor blades.
Marines run by carrying wounded on stretchers.
JOKER
(to a sergeant)
Top, we want to get in the shit.
MASTER SERGEANT
Down the road, two-five.
JOKER
Two-five. Outstanding! Thanks, Top.
DISSOLVE TO:
64 EXT. ROAD TO HUE--DAY
A road next to a small canal on the outskirts of Hue.
Tanks, trucks and marines are moving into the city
past a column of refugees heading the other way.
JOKER and RAFTERMAN catch up to a Lieutenant,
salute him and walk alongside.
JOKER
Excuse me! Sir ... we're looking for First
Platoon, Hotel two-five. I got a bro named
Cowboy there.
TOUCHDOWN
You people one-one?
JOKER
No, sir. We're reporters for Stars and Stripes.
TOUCHDOWN
Stars and Stripes.
JOKER
Yes, sir.
TOUCHDOWN
I'm Cowboy's platoon commander. Cowboy's
just down the road in the platoon area.
JOKER
Oh. You mind if we tag along, sir?
TOUCHDOWN
No problem. Welcome aboard. By the way, my
name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski. My
people call me Mister Touchdown. I played a
little ball for Notre Dame.
JOKER
Notre Dame?
TOUCHDOWN
(laughing)
Yeah.
JOKER
All right!
TOUCHDOWN
You here to make Cowboy famous?
JOKER
Ha! Never happen, sir.
TOUCHDOWN
Well, if you people came looking for a story,
this is your lucky day. We got Condition Red
and we're definitely expecting rain.
JOKER
Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business?
TOUCHDOWN
Well, the N.V.A. are dug in deep. Hotel
Company's still working this side of the river.
Street by street and house by house. Charlie's
definitely got his shit together. But we're still
getting some really decent kills here.
JOKER
We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the
N.V.A. executing a lot of gook civilians.
TOUCHDOWN